You Say Things Like That And You Make It Impossible For Me To Hate You. And I Hate You...

I can pretty much guarantee my NYE won't work out like this, but I'll probably watch the movie anyway. Just because.

Best romantic scene in any movie, any genre, any era. Period.

Happy new year, everyone.

Juxtaposition

Sometimes the news wire just hands you a gift in the form of a juxtaposition of stories that you couldn't make up if you tried:

Story A:
Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds
Teenagers Who Make Such Promises Are Just as Likely to Have Sex, and Less Likely to Use Protection, the Data Indicate.

Story B:
Alaskan Pop. Grows by 1
The news out of Anchorage is that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's teenage daughter, Bristol, has given birth to a son. People magazine reported yesterday that the 7-pound 4-ounce boy -- born Sunday in Palmer, Alaska -- is named Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.

New and Improved (edited x1)

I just did a really dumb thing...made breakfast and started the coffee late. Someone should invent a coffee maker that makes decent coffee quickly. You can either get it quickly, or you can wait for it to taste reasonably good. I'm an impatient person, especially when it's my fault that I'm behind.

That rant had nothing to do with today's post.

Today's post is about New Year's Resolutions and The Fools That Make Them. For those of you keeping track at home, yes, I had this post in mind long before I read yours. I guess the blogosphere is just full of this kind of stuff 'round these times. And any similarities are purely coincidental, I promise, although I sort of nicked the format.

Background

I haven't been able to keep a New Year's Resolution since 2005, when I publicly made this pledge. So I don't really bother. Yet, each year I sort of silently promise myself that I'll do certain things: Lose weight, get more organized, be more social, save more money...but I never do. Such things are fraught with peril for me. It's not a lack of motivation—who wouldn't want to be thinner, better scheduled, more popular and rich—it's just...I dunno. Life gets in the way, I guess. Part of me just wants to live my life without the annoying distraction of having to actually think about it. But the rest of me knows there's a lot missing and it's time to do something.

So I'm going to. And it's not a matter of "try". As Yoda famously said, "Do, or do not. There is no try."*

So here's what I'm up to this year. Check back next year at this time and see how I've done. Sheesh, that ought to keep me in line.

Weighty Issues

Well, Duh...what did you EXPECT to be number one on the list? I actually had some success this year. For the first time in a very long time, I finished the year exerting less force on the earth's crust than I did at the beginning of the year. But it's not enough. When I looked at the Thanksgiving picture of my very large family in Michigan, I realized I've gotten out of control. Next year, I don't want to be the big guy in the picture. Or at least I'll do what my other chubby relatives did, and hide in the back. Still, it'd be nice to be able to sit up front next year and not be embarrassed.

Another benefit: Like a lot of people, I have a "fat" wardrobe and a "skinny" wardrobe. But I also have an "in-between" wardrobe just waiting to be used. Seriously, I never throw this stuff away. Part of my master plan to save more involves losing the extra pounds that are keeping those clothes in the closet. Some of them are damn near brand new.

Get My Act Together

Last week, in the hustle and bustle of meeting Christmas deadlines, I missed an important sales tax filing deadline that cost me big time. My gift to New York state was a substantial penalty for being ONE DAY late with filing. I've never done that before.

It was the clearest signal yet that I really need to get more organized. I can't stand clutter, and yet I can find myself surrounded by it in very short order. Since I spend most of my waking hours in my office, that's where I'm going to start. The first thing to go is the "museum of dead technology" that fills an entire shelf in one of the rooms in my office. If I don't use it, out it goes. Same with my dated technology books: I'm never going to refer to "Foundation Flash 5" or "Adobe Illustrator 3 Classroom Training" ever again, so why am I keeping them?

Get A Life

Did I mention I spend upwards of 12 hours a day in my office? Yes, I had a banner year, but at the increasing expense of my sanity. I'm at that strange tipping point where I need to hire someone, but can't afford to. So this coming year, I'm either going to get an intern, or at least hire someone part-time (say, a couple days a week) so I can actually see what it's like in the outside world. I made some strides this year by actually taking a short vacation around Thanksgiving (the first one in at least four years), but I need to do more.

I live in the boonies, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to do around here. There are literally dozens of wineries to visit, great architecture, museums I've never been to, and cheap shows at the local performing arts center that I never find the time to attend unless I'm hired to photograph or videotape them. I may have to do some of this on my own; I have unusual interests (meaning "Not NASCAR, hunting, or strip clubs") , and they're not necessarily shared by those around me, but what the hell. I need to get out more, right?

Ultimately, I'd like to get away for a week or more and visit some of my favorite places outside the state. That may be a stretch, but we'll see. You never know. Baby steps...

Read More

I'm an avid reader, but I realized this year that I've let that slip. Instead, I find myself watching inane episodes of stupid TV shows. Hey, I'm multitasking...I can do both! How much brain power is really required to watch "Mythbusters" while reading? Not that much. This will also have the side benefit of letting me reduce the space on my bookshelf; I can send some of those old books off to unsuspecting friends. You know who you are. You have been warned.

Be a Better Friend

Gawd, I'm self-centered. Really. I focus on my work, my personal writing and art projects (some of which no one knows anything about), and I've retreated so far into my own personal little world, that I'm sometimes oblivious to the people around me. I lean too heavily on my (admittedly few) friends for their support. Outside this blog, I need to work on eliminating "I" from my conversation. That's going to be the toughest one of all.

Eliminate Toxic Influences

I love a good discussion. And I often take the "other side" of an issue just to inform myself. It's very educational...but it's draining. I realized that I'm giving way too much time and attention to people and opinions that are not only diametrically opposed to me and my values, but are filled with such vitriol and hatred that they're actually toxic. No more. I've had enough of people who are angry, intolerant, or downright mean. And it's not about politics or ideology...people of all political stripes are becoming increasingly angry and bitter. It's time to stop. So...buh-bye.

Honesty is the Best Policy. Sometimes.

Here's one I've struggled with for a while. How much honesty is too much honesty? Clearly, people are not always honest, nor do we want people to always be honest with us. But is that better than these stupid dances we do, where the truth is sticking out of the ground like some obvious Maypole that we all just dance around? There's a time to hold back, and a time to let it all out, and I've been holding back a lot for a very long time. I suspect I'll still continue to do so to a point (self-preservation and fear are powerful motivations), but I've also resolved (oh, gawd. I said "resolved". There goes my street cred) to be a lot more honest from now on.

But Wait...There's MORE!

I'll keep the rest to myself, though. Trust me, you don't want to know. Besides, when it comes to the really big, important, life-changing decisions...well, I'm a wuss. I'm not going to put it all out there for public consumption. Still, if you know me outside the blogosphere, you'll be hearing about it.

It should be an interesting year.


*Yes, I just quoted Yoda. Please don't hold it against me.

edit: Updated this post with the "honesty" bullet.

One More Time

I'm reposting an old Holiday Chestnut (first posted on these pages in 2004) for your reading pleasure. I've made some minor changes (the Bush/Kerry reference in the original just doesn't cut it any more), but it's otherwise intact. Enjoy, blogosphere!

-----------

Twas the day after Christmas
an all 'cross the blogs
Not a creature was posting
(they had too much Egg Nog)

The bloggers were quiet
this post-holiday
No whining, no kvetching
on this Boxing Day

And I with my keyboard
and my trusty old Mac
had opted out, too...
'cuz I am no hack

When out of my mind an idea was formed,
a thought for a poem in my brain had been born.
I sprang to my keyboard--
grabbed hold of the mouse--
my fingers were trembling as my thoughts they did roust

As starlight appears as it falls on the snow,
so did my monitor cast its soft glow
And what to my wandering mind did appear
but a homage to Christmas to those I hold dear!

More rapid than pixels the words then they came
To bloggers across the world's varied domains:

On Blogger! On LJ! On self-hosted sites!
On dot-com, and dot-biz, we're writing tonite!
Post your html ! Post your pictures so small !
Now blog away! Blog away! Blog away all!"

The electronic words filled the space on my screen
That soft glowing text--those electrons of green.
I thought of the blogs, and they lo, made me smile
Forgetting my troubles and fears for a while.
What is the new scandal? What's the joke of the day?
Should my Cousin Rebecca admit that she's gay?
And what of my co-workers? They really stink!
Perhaps I will tell of my clogged kitchen sink.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in my head,
"enough is enough. It's time now for bed".

So I blogged no more poem,
but I published my post.
Was it clever enough? Nay, not half as most.
But perhaps one would smile as they looked at these words
And in the back of my head, I was sure that I heard:

"Merry Christmas, and Kwanzaa, and Festivus, too!
Happy Channuka, Hannukah, or how it's best spelled to you!
Remember—God loves you and sends you His grace
May that one simple thought put a smile on your face."

As Adam said: "It's Christmas, Eve"

A brief post of thanks:

• To my long-suffering family and friends, who have had to put up with my absence in the past month. I haven't been there for a lot of you, and I appreciate your understanding. This was my busiest "season" ever, and I won't soon forget your patience.

• To the blogosphere at large, but particularly those of you on the sidebar of this blog: I miss those of you that have stopped blogging, followed those of you that moved, and as always, I'm inspired by your intelligence, amused at your sense of humour, and I marvel at your insight. Y'all are the smartest group of people I know.

• To my readers reader: Thank you for propping up my ego with page hits and comments. Need I say more?

And one more general obtuse comment:

Every day, I spend hours sitting in front of the glowing LCD screen and work on what is usually very personal material: People's weddings, family photos, recitals...the parts of their lives that are so important to them that they want to preserve them in some tangible way. I've come to believe that we all need connections with other people. We use our cameras to capture the happy moments of our lives; no one ever brings me a series of photos showing Uncle Jackass beating his kid. Instead, we get Uncle Jackass smiling near the campfire, holding a beer.

But I digress. Again.

It's tempting to believe that the connections we make through our blogs are just as phony as that photo with the beer. In fact, I used to believe that. But not any more. Through this blog, I've "met" some amazing people. I've received notes of encouragement, congratulations, and I've made some remarkable connections.

There are days when the only social interaction I have is through the Internet. While that may sound odd, it's an offshoot of working 12-hour days in an isolated environment. It happens. And every now and then, I'm reminded of just how vital those social connections are...sometimes it's subtle, and sometimes it's in a very real and tangible way, but like I said before, we're all looking for connections.

So thank you for stopping by. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting (even those of you that NEVER comment. I read the logs. I know who you are. Thanks for stopping by.). And here's hoping that you're lucky enough to find the connections you're looking for. They are truly priceless.

Drink up, Ladies!

Do I believe this news story?

Not only do I believe it, I'm counting on it:

Beer Goggles Last Longer For Women

For men, "beer goggles" wear off as quickly as the alcohol. But in women, the effect lasts much longer, a new study has revealed. Researchers found that women who drink even moderately develop a reduced ability to rate attractiveness in male faces, even when they are sober.

That'll make my Christmas shopping a lot easier.

We Havin' CHURCH

I have a weakness for Gospel music. Yes, I'm complicated. So sue me.

I've Got Good News For You

!elyts ni kcab emoc ot gniog si ekil uoy mug taht

Fine

Fine. You want sweetness and light? Happiness and joy? Gumdrop waterfalls and candyfloss clouds that dance through a blue sky over rivers of sweet honey and nectar?

Here you go:

Crazy in a Patsy Cline Kind of Way

So we get snow. There are travel advisories. No school. Nasty, nasty weather.

And the photographer decides to drive up a mountain and take photos.

Enjoy the snow. Be glad you don't have to shovel it.

Quote Of The Day

Unattributed, of course:

"It does suck to see such wonderful smartasses go sappy just because they think they're in love."

True, that.

:-)

A Place Of Peace

I started to write this post today before I realized what day it is—the anniversary (if you will) of the day my Father died six years ago.

On my recent trip to Michigan, my family and I placed a wreath on the grave of my parents. Whenever I go back "home", I always make a point to stop by and have what I've come to call my "annual cry" at the gravesite.

To me, this small little piece of land that holds the earthly remains of my parents is as close to a sacred place as I have on this earth. That may sound strange to some of you, and it even sounds strange to me. I know they're not "there", six feet under the cold frozen Michigan snow, but when I visit, I feel closer to them. We have conversations (although they're admittedly one-sided). I reminisce, sometimes I laugh, sometimes (often, truth be told) cry, and always remember.

I don't usually leave anything behind. I'm not big on memorials, flowers, and such. But this year, it just felt right to do something. This barren little piece of landscape needed some brightening up. So we picked up a wreath made from freshly-cut branches. My brother had visited earlier, and left a small wreath near the grave marker; ours was placed below it.



It honors two people that I loved dearly. Whatever faults I have are my own, and whatever is right in my life, whatever I have done that is good and honorable, came from them. Our relationship may have been complicated (and my longtime readers know what I mean), but they made me the person I am today, and since I don't hate myself, I have to thank them for that.

Astute readers will notice the dates on the marker in the picture. Mom died young, and Dad was hardly an old man when he passed. I wish I could have had more time with them, and I wish that a lot of the time I did have had been better spent. But every now and again, I get the chance to stop by and tell them that I love them, miss them, and sincerely hope that the stories they told me as a youth are true, and that I'll one day see them again. I'm not under any illusion that they can hear me—like I said, the conversation is one-sided—and I wouldn't want them burdened with the complications of my life. I only hope that they have both found a measure of the peace that eluded them during much of their time on this earth. I know that visiting them in this place of peace gives me a small amount of that.

Everything I Need To Know About Banking I Learned From "It's A Wonderful Life"

Does anyone else see a parallel?

Reasons for Optimism #2

Turns out happiness is contagious:

Knowing someone who is happy makes you 15.3% more likely to be happy yourself, the study found. A happy friend of a friend increases your odds of happiness by 9.8%, and even your neighbor's sister's friend can give you a 5.6% boost.

"Your emotional state depends not just on actions and choices that you make, but also on actions and choices of other people, many of which you don't even know," said Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis, a physician and medical sociologist at Harvard who co-wrote the study.

I firmly believe happiness is a choice, and I try to tell myself that even when things are busy and everything seems to be falling apart. It can be hard to excise the doom from your life, but it is possible. And, as it turns out, contagious.

So smile at someone today. Try spreading some joy instead of misery. Or, in the immortal words of Bobby McFerrin, "Don't Worry, Be Happy".

More Things I Saw In Michigan

While driving through Detroit on my way to my hometown last week, I accidentally stumbled on a meeting of Auto Executives discussing their bailout proposal. Wow, they really are knee-deep in their own mess:

I Don't Understand

Another picture from my recent vacation. This billboard caught my eye, and begs the question...who wouldn't want to be me?


Or is that not what they meant?

Brotherly Love

This photo says it all (it also says that every time I let someone else use my camera, they never, ever, ever frame the photo properly):

Baby, I'm Back

Well, I'm back from my first vacation in five years, and I survived to tell the tale.

Actually, there are MANY tales to tell, some of which cannot be told here for various reasons. But I'll dole them out over the next couple of weeks or so, along with pictures (not of me, obviously) and my usual snark.

Stay tuned, peeps.